We all want to raise our sons to become responsible men. Anyone who has been a parent, however, knows that our kids don’t start out that way. Our young children are naturally selfish and irresponsible with a tendency toward being lazy. So, how do we raise godly boys to become responsible men?
Sometimes, when we see our sons acting in ways that aren’t exactly the way we would like them to, we can become discouraged. But, if we’re honest, we probably acted in a similarly irresponsible way when we were their age. We’re all human! And we all deal with having a sinful nature. But fortunately, with a little bit of work, we can help our boys to grow into responsible young men who will bring lots of glory to God through their actions.
So, how do we do this?
Here are 5 Tips for Raising Godly Boys to Become Responsible Men:
1 – Positive Male Role Models
Our sons need to have the influence of responsible men in their lives to give them the best chance of becoming responsible men. The best way to have this happen is to let dad take the lead. Dads are so important in the lives of our children. They set an example for our sons, whether good or bad. And they are able to help our boys to become men in a way that moms are unable to do on our own.
If your husband is unable or unwilling to play an integral role in the life of your son, then don’t despair. There are other ways that you can help your son to benefit from having a positive male role model in his life. Ask around at church to see if any trusted, godly men would be willing to build into your son’s life. Allow your son to read books and watch movies about strong, responsible men. Point out news stories of courageous men who choose to do the right thing.
2 – Give Your Son Some Control
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Another tip for helping your son develop responsibility is to allow him to have some control over his life and the decisions that he makes. Let him choose some of the books he reads and the subjects he studies. Give him time to dive deep into the things he’s passionate about pursuing. Allow him to get the sleep he needs and to have some control over whether he starts working on his lessons early in the morning or later in the day.
Encourage him to think for himself rather than following the crowd or obeying blindly. Of course, we need to continue guiding our sons. However, the more we’re able to step back and allow them to take control of their lives and their decisions, the more responsible they will become.
3 – Let Him Make Mistakes
As we allow our sons to make decisions, we can be sure they will make plenty of mistakes. This is actually a good thing! The natural consequences that come from our mistakes are some of the best ways to learn. This is especially true when our sons are young and the mistakes they make aren’t large enough to throw their lives completely off track. The consequences from making poor choices are often painful, but pain is a powerful motivator. Rather than stepping in and trying to fix things for our kids, we need to learn to back off a bit and let them experience the sting of their decisions.
Our sons should know that we’re there to help them dig out of whatever circumstances they face. However, they shouldn’t expect us to bail them out. Allow your sons to accept the consequences of their actions and they will be much more likely to grow into responsible young men.
4 – Help Motivate Him
Sometimes our sons seem lazy and irresponsible. This is especially true during the tween and teen years! When we see our sons acting in this manner, we can help them become more responsible by motivating them. I’m sure you’ve noticed how differently your son acts when he is doing something he wants to do. This is because he is self-motivated.
Our kids usually aren’t motivated by the same things that we are. We can lament this fact or we can try to help to become more motivated. When you ask your son to do something, be sure to let him know what’s in it for him. Don’t be afraid to point out the benefits!
As your son continues to grow and mature, he will become more willing to do things for others. But we all start out as selfish humans and we need the guidance and support from others to grow into godly people who put the needs of others before our own.
5 – Encourage Him to Do Hard Things
Our sons will learn to be more responsible as we give them more to be responsible for. Our kids will rise or fall to the level of expectations we have for them, as long as we make sure our goals for them are within their reach. Start with asking your younger sons to do easier things and increase the difficulty of your requests as they prove themselves.
Remember that men need our respect and our sons are men in training. Tell them how much you appreciate their hard work. Let them know when you are impressed with their efforts. The more our sons feel respected, the more confident they will be to try new and even more difficult tasks.
Bonus Tip for Raising Godly Boys
The most important tip of all is to pray for your sons. Ask God to help your son become a responsible young man who makes wise decisions, who puts others before himself, and who has the courage to tackle difficult tasks. Our sons are growing up in an extremely sinful time and great temptation is all around them. It is so important for us to pray that God would protect our sons’ eyes and their hearts and that they would grow into men who do great things for His kingdom.
Dad’s Tip for Raising Godly Boys
Here’s some amazing advice about raising sons from my wonderful husband!
Apologize, apologize, apologize. Dads are human too. We screw up just like everyone else. By apologizing to them we are showing them that we are still working on our own character. When they see that we are working on ourselves, it takes the focus off of the fact that we are sometimes hypocrites and puts the focus on the fact that we are trying to better ourselves as well as teach them to be better people.
Michelle Caskey blogs at Homeschool-Your-Boys.com, where she strives to encourage and equip other homeschool parents, especially those who are homeschooling boys. Michelle’s blog is a place where all homeschoolers are welcome. However, as a mom to two teenaged sons, she has a special place in her heart for moms who are raising sons.
Michelle has written several books as well. Her hope is that her blog and books will inspire moms to teach their kids in a way which will most engage their minds and their hearts.